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Tuesday, June 26th, 2001
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9:33 pm - Working
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To celebrate the immenent opening of the movie "Cats and Dogs," a local hotel sponsored a 'Bring your pet to work day.' This seemed like such a great idea, since animals are so conducive to productivity. I'll bet it was really interesting at places where they use animals for testing.
The american worker is under appreciated, and deserves more opportunities to personalize and enjoy their workday. So I'm proposing some more themes that could become exciting traditions, in hope that I can help people temporarily forget that their empty lives are based around jobs that they don't like.
Take your toilet paper to work day
Lets face it. You only want the softest materials rubbing your backside. Corporations and companies being the money grubbing, uncaring profit machines that they are, it's unlikely that the higher-ups at your job care enough to buy the good stuff. This day should be everyday.
Take your wardrobe to work day
A lot of work places have a dress code. And for the most part, that wardrobe differs from what you'd prefer to be wearing. So you've got all these clothes just for work. And if you only need these clothes for your job, then why are they taking up space in your closet at home? Do you really want to see work clothes lying in your room, reminding you how much it sucks to wear a suit at your boring job everyday? So we should pick a day and move work clothes to where they belong; at work. And leave them there.
Take your nextdoor neighbor to work day
The way this works is simple. Your next door neighbor tells her boss that she's going to your job with you. You tell your boss that you're going to your neighbor's job. In reality, everyone stays home and enjoys a day off.
Take your lawntools to work day
I imagine that motorized yard tools would be fun around the office.
Your secretary calls your office over the intercom
- secretary : Mr. Smamini is here to speak with you, shall I send him in?
- You : No thanks, I'm about to start shredding some papers.
- secretary : Ummm...the paper shredder is on my desk, would you like me to bring it in to you?
- You : Oh, that won't be neccesary, I've got a weed-wacker.
- secretary : *hearing weed-wacker over the intercom* Uhhhh, are you ok in there?
- You : *screaming maniacally* MWHAAHAH! Where's my damn hedge trimmers?!?!?
- secretary : Ok, I'm taking my lunch break.
So let the kids stay in school, leave the pets at home, and celebrate life in the workplace.
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| Sunday, June 24th, 2001
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12:43 am - Driving
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I was watching the news today and saw that New York is about to make a state law banning the use of cellphones while driving. This is an incredibly intelligent move by the state, and hopefully only the beginning of a larger campaign to make automotive travel a little less dangerous than volcano exploration.
It always amazes me how easy it has been made to get a driver's license. Driving, in its most simplified form, involves being the sole being in charge of a big piece of metal that's moving at a significant velocity. A car is full of flammable chemicals, utilizes explosive combustion, and is capable of generating large amounts of momentum and inertia. Factor in the excessive energy produced by many car stereos, and you can't help but wonder why we give almost anyone such power.
Driving a car entails a level of responsibility that I often don't feel like dealing with. Since so much of this country's problems stem from people' refusal to accept reponsibility, giving a car to some people seems like a mistake.
It could never be possible to take cars away from people. Our economy is built on automotive realities. Our infrastructure both facilitates and depends on vehicles. The right to jump into one's car and drive wherever you wish is another part of freedom. Since we can't take away the driving, we're stuck trying to make it safer. That's where things like seatbelts and airbags come in. But those meaures just help during a collision, so we try to make collisions less common. We get traffic laws, anti-lock brakes, speed limits. All of these help protect us from realities such as weather and friction.
The hardest thing to prepare for and guard against is human stupidity. The only things predictable about human stupidity is that it will be common, and it will be dangerous. Human stupidity, like most everything else, requires energy to do work. When you put someone behind the wheel of a fast moving car, you're giving a lot of power to potential human stupidity.
So how can we control or possibly eliminate this threat? Since human stupidity is so unpredictable, we usually just have to wait for people to do stupid things. When enough stupid people start doing the same stupid thing, we make a law about it. That's how the cellphone issue developed. This also resulted in things like drunk driving legislation, and mandatory seatbelt usage.
On a bit of a side note, why would anyone not be eager to wear a seatbelt? Does the thought of your face impacting the windshield appeal to any of you? The seatbelt doesn't keep you from doing anything necessary while driving. It's not terribly restrictive. It's a belt over your torso, not fishing line around your balls. It doesn't hurt. Why a person would choose to not wear a seatbelt is unfathomable to me.
Anyways, so it's finally becoming illegal to hold a cellphone in your hand while driving. That's great. But what else can we do to encourage people to ignore their stupidity while on the road? Here's a short list of other things that we could make illegal while driving:
- Eating
- Reading ( I see that a lot)
- Putting on makeup/shaving
- Being old
While I'm complaining, I'd like to mention that there is no reason why your car's stereo should be audible outside of your vehicle. When I'm driving, I'd prefer to hear the sirens of the twenty-two ton fire truck about to merge into my lane, not your sucky music. My car's radio is working just fine, you don't need to share yours.
I think they should raise the driving age. I think the driver's license test should be much harder. I think older people especially should have to retake a driving test fairly often. I guess I just have a problem with the fact that the same guy who keeps screwing up my order at Burger King is allowed control over something as potentially dangerous as a car.
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